A-M-A-R: Amar!

"Chiar si noi am fost la nunta. Am ciocnit pahare pentru tineri. Am dansat cu ei in hora, ca incepe viata lor. Nunta, mare bucurie."
- Zdob si Zdub, "Nunta Extremala"

It was June 6, 2005. The first day of Peace Corps staging in Philadelphia for Moldova Group 16. At the end of our day's sessions, one of the Peace Corps staff members told us that he met his wife in Peace Corps.

"Today," he said, "some of you met your future husband or wife for the first time."

Those two were Leigh Carroll and Shie Benedaret. Throughout pre-service training in Mereseni last summer, they sat together in language classes, went on walks together through the village and visited each other's houses. Saturday, they married at the school in Mereseni in front of over 100 people, including their family and friends from America, Peace Corps volunteers, Peace Corps staff and Moldovans from Mereseni, Orhei and Cimislia.

Because Leigh's old host family is my current one, I was a constant helper in and observer of the furious preparation for the entire week before the wedding. It was full of buying drinks (25 bottles each of champagne and cognac, 150 liters combined of water and soda and 100 liters of wine), meat (25 kilograms total, or nearly a third of a pound of meat for each guest) and all sorts of other ingredients (a major excursion where seven of us spent hours at Chisinau's central market and filled up my host brother's station wagon). After that, Leigh and Shie's host mothers and over a dozen female relatives and family friends spent three days and two nights putting together a wedding feast. We set up 15 tables and put lights outside the school so people could dance in the night air. I've exhausted myself just by typing this paragraph.

Thursday, two days before the wedding, Shie and Leigh's families and friends from America came to Mereseni and we barbecued in the forest. Leigh looks almost exactly like her mother, and after meeting Shie's mom, step-father, two brothers and friend, it's obvious how he became such an energetic, outspoken and caring person.

On Friday, Shie and Leigh's families came to the school, joining all the Moldovans who were already working to prepare for the wedding. Shie's brothers were starting to warm to the idea of Moldovan drinking, and gleefully participated in a practice round with all of us.

Saturday was the big day. My host brother and father hung lights outside the school and near the outhouse with the help of our neighbor. The women put the finishing touches on the food. I fastened down the tableclothes (the whole time joking about how thankless my job was) and shuttled the drinks from the house to the school. The musicians came at 5 p.m. and began setting up.

I served as the wedding videographer, filming the pre-wedding rituals, such as the bride's brother sticking a knife across the door and demanding payment from the groom before allowing the wedding to go on (Shie had to pay $28). They also drank out of a well for good luck, although that good luck could be cancelled by giardasis on their honeymoon.

The guests began arriving at 6:30, which for Moldovans at a 7 p.m. wedding means that they were about three hours early. As each guest came, they were greeted by Shie; Leigh; Gabe, the best man; Bethany, the maid of honor; and shots of wine. Each guest came to the table, congratulated the bride and groom and drank a shot of wine.

At 7:15 everyone gathered outside, where Samantha, a volunteer, gave some beautiful remarks in both English and Romanian. She was interrupted at times by the master of ceremonies, a fat Moldovan man with a full head of thinning hair who spoke almost as loudly as his orange shirt; any time he felt that Samantha had made a good point, he would have his band play the chords of the traditional wedding/birthday/baptism/anything song, Multi Ani Traiasca.

Then Leigh and Shie read their vows to each other; Leigh had to pause a few times to keep from tearing up uncontrollably, while Shie put away his notes 10 seconds into his speech and winged it until there wasn't a dry eye in the crowd, including the Moldovans who didn't understand their English speeches.

Then it was time for the feast, the dancing and the drinking. The band was spectacular, playing a mix of Moldovan and American music on a keyboard, accordion and violin. I got to take a few breaks from filming and talk and dance with my date to the wedding. Dancing the hora outside the school with scores of Moldovans and Americans ranks at the top of a prestigiously high list of fun times I've had dancing in this country; everyone knew the steps, everyone was happy to get out and dance, and everyone was simply overjoyed to see Leigh and Shie married.

The only unsuccessful part of the night was we bachelors' attempts to steal the bride. Moldovan tradition says that I and the other bachelors should have abducted Leigh and then charged Shie for her release. A handful of male volunteers tried to think of the most ingenious ways to steal her, but Shie foiled all of our attempts. My date, Lilia, tried to take Leigh outside to talk to her so that we could nab her, but Shie told her that the two could talk about whatever they wanted in front of him. Shie's very drunk step-brother, Eol, tried to dance with Leigh, but Shie would have none of it and had some unkind words to say about the whole situation. Shie and Leigh even accompanied each other to the bathroom so that no one could steal her. They had all their bases covered. Maybe I shouldn't have been telling them for two months that we would find a way to steal her, because Shie definitely rose to my challenge.

With the exception of the bachelors' failure in our most important job of the night, the wedding was perfect. The band closed up at 1:45 a.m., which is early for a Moldovan wedding but guaranteed that we had tons of energy until the very end. I stayed around the school and had a few more shots of wine with friends and family in order to polish off any pitchers that still needed to be emptied.

This wedding was special, not just because it was the first wedding between two Americans in Moldova, according to the U.S. Embassy. It was special because it was between two of the greatest people I've ever had the honor to call my friends. It was special because even the casual observer could see the love not only between the bride and groom, but between the pair and their guests and between the Americans who love so much about Moldovan culture and people and the Moldovans who reciprocate that love. That's what made this wedding special, and I may never be at a wedding this wonderful ever again.

La multi ani, sanatate, o casa de piatra, multi copii (peste cativa ani) si amar!